Grandfather Farook in the Gold Souk

As eventually happens to the majority of men today, Farook recently became a grandfather, and, as is the case in most societies, he is expected to buy a gift for his grandson.

The Arab culture, unlike the European culture, is a patriarchal society in which men rule, a society in which a man always has the final word in his own house. In other words, Farook is terrified of his wife and his eldest daughter, so he insisted I join him as he went gift shopping. My guess was that he'd ask me if I liked something, and, if I did, then he'd know it was out of the question, but if I hated the gift, then he'd be sure it would be appropriate. But, of course, inter-cultural relations are far more complicated than that.

We went to the Sharjah Gold Souk, which was an adventure in and of itself since Sharjah has closed the main road leading to the Souk, the only road Farook knows, and he didn't know any other ways to get there, so he kept rolling down his window and asking directions to the Gold Souk. Sharjah has several institutions that go by that name, and the cars we pulled next to and shouted at kept directing Farook toward souks he knew and did not like. 'They tell me way to harami souk,' he explained, 'harami souk' being the Arabic for 'den of thieves,' but we finally found the gold souk Farook was looking for.

We went in and Farook said, 'You have tola 21K pure gold?'

'Why?' I asked. 'Pure gold is 24K.'

'I want them to think I know nothing.'

I understand a seller trying to convince the buyer that the seller knows nothing and is letting a real gem go for the price of a zircon (when he's letting a real zircon go for the price of a diamond), but it's not at all clear to me how it helps if the buyer convinces the seller that he knows absolutely nothing.

In the UAE gold souks, every shop starts with the actual price of the gold (non-negotiable, weight times published, official price) plus a 'service charge' (completely negotiable). Farook maintained that the shops buy gold wholesale, and the official price is the retail price, so a good bargainer can get gold below the official price. If this is true, I've never seen anyone manage to achieve this feat. Nor did Farook.

He found a bar of gold for which the official price was $90, and, after weighing and multiplying, the clerk offered to let Farook have it for $130. Farook offered $85. I suggested they compromise at $107, and Farook said I should have supported his offer of $85, not offered more, but, finally, the deal was done and Farook had $90 worth of gold for which he'd paid $107 (and he got two cups of 'free' tea out of the deal).

Than he began agonising: 'You think my daughter will think this too small? No, it is a gift, and a gift can be anything, it is not the size that counts. No, my wife and daughter will be angry.' & etc.

So we went for a hookah. Farook wanted us to get two hookahs, but I said I can't manage more than half, and didn't want to waste one, so we ended up sharing. I suppose I should stop clinging to the past, when the proper name for the pipe was a hookah, as smoked by your typical Caterpillar in Wonderland, and use the modern English word, shisha.

In any case, gold in hand we went to a shisha parlour in Ajman, where a shisha is around $2.50 (the cheapest in Dubai is around $5). The parlour was a bit more primitive than the parlours in Dubai, and it had a raised platform.

We stepped up onto the platform and were searching for a couple of empty chairs when I managed to trip and fall on my face. They helped me up and I made it to a chair and shared a shisha with Farook, and we finally made it home around midnight.

This morning, Farook called at 9 am, picked me up, and we went to wander through some more gold shops to buy a bit more gold to go with what Farook bought yesterday.

As I said, in this strictly patriarchal society, Farook is absolutely terrified of what his wife and eldest daughter will think of his gift to his first grandson.