Mad Max, The Flying Dutchman (part 2)
Max imposed on me three 18-hour days, the first in Dubai and the next two in Abu Dhabi, followed by a week of 12 hours a day on the telephone (via Skype). I put up with this partly out of curiosity, and partly out of a rapidly decreasing hope that Max might provide some slight compensation for my time.
Finally, Max asked me to join him in a conference call on Monday of week 3 to one client who had seemed somewhat interested. Max spent all day Sunday bouncing off me every possibly objection to putting up the €1,000,000 the client might have, and the incantations that would magically turn a 'No' into a 'Yes.' When we finally called early Monday morning, the client was out, and the receptionist asked us to call back. Max sweet-talked the receptionist for 20 minutes, figuring it's always good to sweet-talk receptionists, and, with her boss gone, she couldn't possibly have anything better to do than to listen to Max.
Max continued talking to me on the phone all day Monday, planning for the next day's attempt to reach the client. He was still talking at 11 pm, when he said he had another call. I could hear him mumbling on another phone. Finally, he returned to me, ‘Good news. My friend in Abu Dhabi called. He knows the client we’re going to call tomorrow, and he tells me the client will agree to sign the contract. You will get €1,100 a day for your part. Now we are sending you a contract, and you must sign it and return it now. My wife just called, and I want to go to supper, so I need you to sign and return the contract to us immediately.’
'I have to read it first,' I said.
'I am offering you €1,100 a day, but I can't work with anyone who doesn’t trust me. You will sign now, or else.'
'I have to read it first.'
'I'll give you two hours, then I'm calling back, and the contract had better be signed.'
'Max, it's almost midnight here. I'll sign tomorrow.'
'We are not paying you €1,100 a day to sleep. You'll sign now.'
'Tomorrow,' I said, and the line went dead, but Max SMSed me, 'Sleep well.'
As my last act before bed, I tried to check my e-mail, but the account Max had given me, the account Max said I was to use if I ever wanted to contact him, returned an error. I thought that e-mail had been cancelled, and that I was finally through with Max, but I was wrong on both counts.
The next morning, I read the contract.
The contract said I was to travel around the UAE passing out brochures and promoting the Institute, and I could receive 1/3 of any increase in Institute business in the UAE up to a maximum increase of €5,000, less expenses. Max said he had ordered for me 500 brochures to hand out, for which I’d be charged €5,000 (his cost, about €100), and 100 business cards for which I’d be charged €250 (his cost, about €25), so my best case scenario, where I indeed got credit for bringing in more than €5,000, meant I would owe the institute €5,250 less €5,000/3. It was a five-page contract, and I was to sign on page 5 saying I agreed to all terms and conditions on pages 1 to 4. So Max could easily changes pages 1 to 4 to make the ridiculous conditions even worse for me.
The next morning, rather to my surprise, Max called again, 'Will you sign?'
'No. The contract says I'm a salesman, just selling your institute.'
'You're wrong. You can’t even read English, and you don't know what selling is. You are not a salesman. You don't know what a chance you're missing. You have nothing, and we are offering you €1,100 a day if you join us. E-mail me if you change your mind.’
‘Max, you cancelled my e-mail, so how can I e-mail you?’
‘You are a failure, and you always blame third parties for your failures. I only made you this offer because Jan recommended you, and he has never been so wrong about anyone before.’
‘Max, I only met Jan once for a few minutes. He had cheated a friend of mine, and I just went along to try to get my friend’s money back. That’s all I know of Jan.’
‘I will call Jan and ask him about this,’ and with that, Max rang off. Again, I thought I was rid of him. And again, I was wrong.
The next day, Max called again, ‘Since you won’t sign the partnership agreement, you can’t be a partner. You will be a junior associate, and will only get half the money of a partner.’
‘Max, I still don’t want to sell for you.’
‘You are not selling. Our Institute is unique. We have no competition. I already gave you the names of some of the biggest people in the UAE, people you could never possibly meet on your own. You just go to them and tell them about the Institute. That is not selling.’
‘I don’t know about Dutch, but in English, if you go to someone, tell them about a product or service, and then ask for money, that’s selling.’
‘You don’t even understand English. You are nothing. You have nothing. You said you can’t even afford a battery for your phone, so you have to have it plugged in when you talk to me. Jan and I are both on the boards of Daimler, Barclays, and many other of the world’s largest corporations, and you are nothing. We have awards from INSEAD and many other of the world’s top universities for our software, while you are lower then dirt. I don’t know what kind of people you’ve dealt with in the past, but I’m an ordained minister. I am a very good person who is only trying to help you, but you don’t even trust me.’
‘Max, I checked. On your own website, it says you are on the boards of Daimler and Barclays and many other major corporations. It says your Institute is a strategic partner with many of the world’s largest corporations. It says you have received many awards for innovations in strategy from INSEAD and other top universities. But on their websites, they’ve never heard of you. Max, you and Jan are just a couple of small-time crooks and scam artists.’
‘You are the crook. You are the scam artist. And you’ve just opened your big mouth one time too many. Do you know DNRD?’
‘Yes, Max, I’ve heard of the Dubai Naturalisation and Residency Department.’
‘Well, two years ago, they were in big trouble. Nothing worked. They had me give them a seminar, and all their top people attended. Within a few weeks, everything worked perfectly for them. Now the head of the department always does whatever I ask. When I’m in Dubai, Jan and I have dinner with him. Right now I’m going to call him, and he will cancel your visa and deport you. I also told Jan what you said. He knows where you live, and he says he is going to kill you.’
And with that, Max finally rang off for good.
Which just goes to show. Just because I called Max and Jan two-bit crooks, they are now determined to pummel me with their bag of quarters.
And, at this point, I re-checked the e-mail account they’d given me, with my name on the e-mail. It’s not cancelled, just hijacked. Max can still use it, but I can’t. So I assume every bank in Dubai will get an e-mail, ‘I’ve just changed my e-mail. Please only use this e-mail from now on,’ followed by an e-mail, ‘Please transfer my entire account to Holland.’
Plus, of course, if they ever manage to scam anyone in the UAE, they intend to say it was me and me alone who was responsible, and send an e-mail giving my name with me promising to honour their ‘double your money back’ guarantee for each and every dissatisfied client.
So I can only hope that people in the UAE with money to invest have the good sense not to invest any of it with the Institute for Strategy and Complexity Management, and that UAE banks won’t be taken in by an e-mail with my name on it.
As soon has Max had shown me his ‘business plan,’ it was clear to me that the whole thing was a scam. No one sells an investment guaranteed to return 120%, so Max was not a legitimate PhD in strategy, but a scam artist.
The basic rule is, any time you’re with a scam artist, there must be a mark, so look to the left and to the right. If you don’t see a mark, it must be you. I assumed the customers to whom I’d been introduced were the marks, but I should have been looking in a mirror, only I didn’t see any mirrors. (This is the real reason why the castles of blood-sucking vampires are always devoid of mirrors, in spite of what you might have heard.)
Max had used an old trick: waste enough of the mark’s time that, when the bite comes, the mark is reluctant to admit he has wasted three weeks of his life and just walk away. And it wasn’t easy to go back to the quiet life after three exciting weeks of being bored silly by Max.
But I still wasn’t signing a five-page contract that I couldn’t understand, and one where Max could easily change the first four pages.
Finally, Max asked me to join him in a conference call on Monday of week 3 to one client who had seemed somewhat interested. Max spent all day Sunday bouncing off me every possibly objection to putting up the €1,000,000 the client might have, and the incantations that would magically turn a 'No' into a 'Yes.' When we finally called early Monday morning, the client was out, and the receptionist asked us to call back. Max sweet-talked the receptionist for 20 minutes, figuring it's always good to sweet-talk receptionists, and, with her boss gone, she couldn't possibly have anything better to do than to listen to Max.
Max continued talking to me on the phone all day Monday, planning for the next day's attempt to reach the client. He was still talking at 11 pm, when he said he had another call. I could hear him mumbling on another phone. Finally, he returned to me, ‘Good news. My friend in Abu Dhabi called. He knows the client we’re going to call tomorrow, and he tells me the client will agree to sign the contract. You will get €1,100 a day for your part. Now we are sending you a contract, and you must sign it and return it now. My wife just called, and I want to go to supper, so I need you to sign and return the contract to us immediately.’
'I have to read it first,' I said.
'I am offering you €1,100 a day, but I can't work with anyone who doesn’t trust me. You will sign now, or else.'
'I have to read it first.'
'I'll give you two hours, then I'm calling back, and the contract had better be signed.'
'Max, it's almost midnight here. I'll sign tomorrow.'
'We are not paying you €1,100 a day to sleep. You'll sign now.'
'Tomorrow,' I said, and the line went dead, but Max SMSed me, 'Sleep well.'
As my last act before bed, I tried to check my e-mail, but the account Max had given me, the account Max said I was to use if I ever wanted to contact him, returned an error. I thought that e-mail had been cancelled, and that I was finally through with Max, but I was wrong on both counts.
The next morning, I read the contract.
The contract said I was to travel around the UAE passing out brochures and promoting the Institute, and I could receive 1/3 of any increase in Institute business in the UAE up to a maximum increase of €5,000, less expenses. Max said he had ordered for me 500 brochures to hand out, for which I’d be charged €5,000 (his cost, about €100), and 100 business cards for which I’d be charged €250 (his cost, about €25), so my best case scenario, where I indeed got credit for bringing in more than €5,000, meant I would owe the institute €5,250 less €5,000/3. It was a five-page contract, and I was to sign on page 5 saying I agreed to all terms and conditions on pages 1 to 4. So Max could easily changes pages 1 to 4 to make the ridiculous conditions even worse for me.
The next morning, rather to my surprise, Max called again, 'Will you sign?'
'No. The contract says I'm a salesman, just selling your institute.'
'You're wrong. You can’t even read English, and you don't know what selling is. You are not a salesman. You don't know what a chance you're missing. You have nothing, and we are offering you €1,100 a day if you join us. E-mail me if you change your mind.’
‘Max, you cancelled my e-mail, so how can I e-mail you?’
‘You are a failure, and you always blame third parties for your failures. I only made you this offer because Jan recommended you, and he has never been so wrong about anyone before.’
‘Max, I only met Jan once for a few minutes. He had cheated a friend of mine, and I just went along to try to get my friend’s money back. That’s all I know of Jan.’
‘I will call Jan and ask him about this,’ and with that, Max rang off. Again, I thought I was rid of him. And again, I was wrong.
The next day, Max called again, ‘Since you won’t sign the partnership agreement, you can’t be a partner. You will be a junior associate, and will only get half the money of a partner.’
‘Max, I still don’t want to sell for you.’
‘You are not selling. Our Institute is unique. We have no competition. I already gave you the names of some of the biggest people in the UAE, people you could never possibly meet on your own. You just go to them and tell them about the Institute. That is not selling.’
‘I don’t know about Dutch, but in English, if you go to someone, tell them about a product or service, and then ask for money, that’s selling.’
‘You don’t even understand English. You are nothing. You have nothing. You said you can’t even afford a battery for your phone, so you have to have it plugged in when you talk to me. Jan and I are both on the boards of Daimler, Barclays, and many other of the world’s largest corporations, and you are nothing. We have awards from INSEAD and many other of the world’s top universities for our software, while you are lower then dirt. I don’t know what kind of people you’ve dealt with in the past, but I’m an ordained minister. I am a very good person who is only trying to help you, but you don’t even trust me.’
‘Max, I checked. On your own website, it says you are on the boards of Daimler and Barclays and many other major corporations. It says your Institute is a strategic partner with many of the world’s largest corporations. It says you have received many awards for innovations in strategy from INSEAD and other top universities. But on their websites, they’ve never heard of you. Max, you and Jan are just a couple of small-time crooks and scam artists.’
‘You are the crook. You are the scam artist. And you’ve just opened your big mouth one time too many. Do you know DNRD?’
‘Yes, Max, I’ve heard of the Dubai Naturalisation and Residency Department.’
‘Well, two years ago, they were in big trouble. Nothing worked. They had me give them a seminar, and all their top people attended. Within a few weeks, everything worked perfectly for them. Now the head of the department always does whatever I ask. When I’m in Dubai, Jan and I have dinner with him. Right now I’m going to call him, and he will cancel your visa and deport you. I also told Jan what you said. He knows where you live, and he says he is going to kill you.’
And with that, Max finally rang off for good.
Which just goes to show. Just because I called Max and Jan two-bit crooks, they are now determined to pummel me with their bag of quarters.
And, at this point, I re-checked the e-mail account they’d given me, with my name on the e-mail. It’s not cancelled, just hijacked. Max can still use it, but I can’t. So I assume every bank in Dubai will get an e-mail, ‘I’ve just changed my e-mail. Please only use this e-mail from now on,’ followed by an e-mail, ‘Please transfer my entire account to Holland.’
Plus, of course, if they ever manage to scam anyone in the UAE, they intend to say it was me and me alone who was responsible, and send an e-mail giving my name with me promising to honour their ‘double your money back’ guarantee for each and every dissatisfied client.
So I can only hope that people in the UAE with money to invest have the good sense not to invest any of it with the Institute for Strategy and Complexity Management, and that UAE banks won’t be taken in by an e-mail with my name on it.
As soon has Max had shown me his ‘business plan,’ it was clear to me that the whole thing was a scam. No one sells an investment guaranteed to return 120%, so Max was not a legitimate PhD in strategy, but a scam artist.
The basic rule is, any time you’re with a scam artist, there must be a mark, so look to the left and to the right. If you don’t see a mark, it must be you. I assumed the customers to whom I’d been introduced were the marks, but I should have been looking in a mirror, only I didn’t see any mirrors. (This is the real reason why the castles of blood-sucking vampires are always devoid of mirrors, in spite of what you might have heard.)
Max had used an old trick: waste enough of the mark’s time that, when the bite comes, the mark is reluctant to admit he has wasted three weeks of his life and just walk away. And it wasn’t easy to go back to the quiet life after three exciting weeks of being bored silly by Max.
But I still wasn’t signing a five-page contract that I couldn’t understand, and one where Max could easily change the first four pages.
posted by Dubai@Random at 2:03 am
3 Comments:
DaR: you seriously need to get your exploits into book form. I'm hooked on reading about your experiences, and also have to wonder about how the hell you get into these situations. But don't stop - it's entertaining - as long as you are safe!
Please let me have the address of Jan - he is in severe trouble for his debts left in Germany. And Mr Bigmouth deserves it! Daring@email.de
He lives on the Palm Jumeirah, and here are his email address and phone number:
Jan.Hussing@t-online.de
+49 (173) 7008568 or +971 508800756
Jan has a company registered at the Dubai Airport Free Zone called "Buena Publica". I'm sure it can't be too hard to get details from there.
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