Sunday, May 28, 2006

Setting up in Business?

I got a call from Ron this morning. 'Hey, what's up?' I'm never sure how to answer that question, especially early in the morning. I've told Ron I'm almost always busy on Sundays, so once about a year ago he called and said I had to meet him one Sunday morning at 9:00 a.m. I said I couldn't make it. He was angry.

'I had a Citizen ready to do a deal, but I needed you and you weren't there.'

'Couldn't we do it some other time?'

'He's was going to do this as a big favour to us, so we had to meet him when he was available, and now the deal's off.'

But that was a year ago.

'So,' I asked, 'how are you? Still at the same job?'

'Yes, but I told them I'm taking a week off. I'm ready for us to start our own business. You'll handle the computer stuff, and I'll handle all the sales. I've been doing great, I've saved over €20,000 in less than six months. You just need to give me €40,000, and we can open.'

'What, exactly, is this business?'

'Selling real estate. I've been making over €9,000 a month, but now I'm ready to move on. Right now I get 30%, but when we set up this business, We'll get 100%. I'll need three or four salesmen who'll go out and sell, and you'll run the office and set up the computer to send out lots of e-mails telling people to buy from us.'

I wouldn't mind a job running the office and IT systems for Ron, but I'm not too keen on giving Ron €40,000.

'Could we talk about this tomorrow? Let's get together tomorrow afternoon.'

'I've already told you everything. What else to you need to know?'

'Details about this real estate business. Who's your developer, for one.'

'It doesn't matter, we can sell any property in Dubai. We get 4% of the sales price. When I sell a property, we'll get 100% of the 4%, when one of our salesmen sells a property, he'll get his commission and we'll get the rest. You'll get your money back in less than four months. In a couple of years, we'll be millionaires. I'll give you 40% of all profits, and I'll get 60% because I'll be running things and doing most of the work.'

'We'll talk about it tomorrow at 2. Where?'

Ron gave me the name of a large mall where he plans to put up his kiosk. It will be (so he says) near the kiosk where he's just been made supervisor by his current employer.

I went back to work, and in about ten minutes, the phone rang again. It was Ron.

'If I let you in on this, are you going to trust me, or will you be suspicious like last time, because if you're not going to trust me, I can't go into business with you.'

In the 15th century, the Italians discovered how to completely eliminate the need for trust in business. It's called double entry bookkeeping. No one has to trust anybody: the business records every penny coming in and going out. Twice. So everyone can check and see. No partner has to trust the other, the boss doesn't have to trust the employees. Good accounting practices make sure no one can run off with anything and not get caught.

'And why should I trust you with my €40,000?'

'If you can't trust me, we can't do business together. I thought of you. I tried to be friends, but I don't think we can do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing again. You made it too hard on me.'

I should hope not. I personally don't consider myself a female, but apparently Ron does, only I wasn't the kind of girlfriend he wanted. Or he wasn't the kind of girlfriend I wanted. Or something. I hadn't heard from him for six months before today. Anyway, I'm quite annoyed to be called an ex-girlfriend. And one that he dumped at that.

'Don't be a big baby. A grown up would trust me.'

Ding ding ding ding ding. Bells started going off inside my head.

'Look, Ron, do you want to get together tomorrow? I'm kind of busy now.'

'Not if you're just going to waste my time. I have to get this business started, and if you're not going to trust me, I don't have time to waste with you.'

'Then I'm afraid we'd better call it off.'

Ron hung up and I went back to work. After ten minutes the phone rang. It was Ron.

'Look, after four months, when you've got all your money back and we're sitting on millions, are you still going to be this suspicious and mistrustful?'

'That is the dumbest question I've ever heard in my life.'

'Just answer it.'

'I can't. Do you want to get together tomorrow or not?'

He hung up. Again. Then the phone started ringing, but when I answered, Ron wouldn't reply. I do have caller ID, so all the calls were Ron, but, for about an hour, he called every five minutes and when I said, 'Hello?' he wouldn't say anything. It was getting annoying.

Finally, I answered, quite angry now, but Ron only said, 'Let's get together tomorrow and I'll answer any questions you might have. I'll give you a contract. Anything you want. But you've got to let me handle all the money, because you wouldn't know where to put it. I'll take care of everything. Just give me a call tonight.'

I got several more SMS messages from Ron about how great a deal this was going to be.

Then the phone rang, and I was a little surprised to see that the number wasn't Ron's. I didn't know whose it was. It was Farook.

'I have something to show you.'

'Not today, I'm afraid.'

'Why you no call me? I say I call you, but you no call? If I no call, you no call me?'

'I've been a little busy, I was going to call you tomorrow.' Not actually true, but it sounded good.

'I'm having a computer problem, could you come over and look at it.'

'I can tomorrow.'

I know, I'd already promised Ron, and Farook is about as likely as Ron to have anything profitable, but I'd had about as much of Ron as I could stand for a couple of days, and Farook might actually have a computer problem. Not likely, since the last time I went by his office, he had a monitor and a computer case to impress customers, but there weren't any actual computer components inside the case, it was just a cheap, empty case.

But I agreed to go by and see Farook. I figure Ron will still be wanting hismy €40,000 for the foreseeable future.


Anonymous adevents said...

What is this crazy and strange kind of business proposal from your friends what is it all about, do they think you have lot of money and you don’t know what to do with it? or what the story exactly ?

11:22 am  
Blogger Dubai@Random said...

I have no idea where they get the idea I've got lots of money.

Farook tried to sell me a school for €6,000,000 (I wouldn't be here if I had that kind of money), but (I assume) hope springs eternal.

I'd guess they try to sell their ideas to everyone they meet, and I blog about it.

6:56 pm  
Anonymous adevents said...

lol,6000 000 wow, hey i have a good business idea do u want to share me :)

12:37 pm  
Blogger Harsha said...

lol, thats Dubai for you.

4:18 pm  
Blogger Aalia Eliza said...

If you are looking at a company formation in Dubai – the condition is quite the opposite. The support from the Government for upcoming businesses is immense. In fact, more people suggest that there is no country in the world that promotes foreign investment like UAE. There is a huge scope of forming a successful company there than anywhere else.

6:02 pm  

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